Raising kids in a toxic culture

Coalition program informs and empowers parents
By: 
Pam Monson
Editor
“It’s a way different world from when a lot of parents grew up,” she added. “We have to worry about school shootings and we have to worry about social media, even TV and what our kids are watching ... A lot of parents think their kids are doing OK and they really don’t have a clue.” Deborah Tomey, Project coordinator, Wilmington Coalition for a Healthy Community

    Do you really think you know what your child faces on a day-to-day basis? You might be surprised to learn what kind of challenges society throws at today’s youth. The Wilmington Coalition for a Healthy Community is offering parents an opportunity to come up to speed in a free eight-week series, Operation: Parent.
    Operation: Parent is a support group for parents, and will help parents become socially informed about today’s teen culture.
    “Teen” doesn’t start at 13 anymore, so the program is being offered to parents of fifth through 12th grade students. Parents of younger children are encouraged to attend as well, so they will be prepared for a future with a teen or tween.
    “It’s not only to help raise awareness, it’s also to help parents parent their kids in today’s culture, because it’s ever-changing,” explained Deborah Tomey, coalition project coordinator.
    “It’s a way different world from when a lot of parents grew up,” she added. “We have to worry about school shootings and we have to worry about social media, even TV and what our kids are watching ... A lot of parents think their kids are doing OK and they really don’t have a clue.”
    Tomey speaks from experience. She thought she knew everything about parenting and what her child was  going through, and then learned there was a great divide between her perception and reality. Her eyes were opened wider when she took the Operation: Parent facilitator training.
    “... Kids act different around parents. Your daughter can bring a friend home and they’re going to act different around you than when they’re around them.”
    “You can think, ‘oh, yeah, she hangs around this kid and she’s a perfect kid,’ and then find out it’s totally different,” she explained.
    The program gives parents practical and positive strategies for steering their children in the right direction and staying strong through this part of their lives, which can be the most challenging. Subjects to be covered include social media, peer pressure, parties, bullying, drug trends, underage drinking, using trust as a tool to develop character, not expecting the school to raise your children and common parent traps.
    “It’s going to inform and empower parents,” Tomey commented.
    These topics and more will be discussed in eight weekly sessions:
    • Put yourself in the way
    • Awareness is your best friend
    • Remember the difference
    • Expect and inspect
    • Never trust the net and other technological issues
    • Traps to avoid and uncover
    • Lessons learned about drugs and alcohol
    • Lessons learned about drugs and alcohol, continued
    The coalition conducted an Operation: Parent pilot program last year. The sessions were initially going to be one hour each week, but the pilot program participants felt sessions needed to be longer, so they’ve been set at 90 minutes.
    “Once parents got on the subject, and really started discussing the issues they found out they had more in common and they  could learn from the other parents and what they were going through and how they were handling the situation. So basically it became not only an informational awareness session but a support group as well,” Tomey said.
    Operation: Parent participants also have access to magazines and online tools on the national Operation: Parent program website.
    The program is free, although registration is required. Because of the group discussion format of the sessions, space is limited. However, the program will be ongoing.
    The first non-faith session is scheduled for Monday, Jan. 14, at 7 p.m., at Stevens Intermediate School, 221 Ryan St. Two parents from the community attended the training and will facilitate the eight Monday night sessions.
    An eight-week faith-based Operation: Parent course will begin on Tuesday, Jan. 15, at 7 p.m., at the First United Methodist Church, 401 E. Kahler Road. It will be facilitated by Pastor Harriet Cross of FUMC.
    Operation: Parent is made possible with funding from the coalition’s Drug Free Communities Grant
    “We hope parents will come out. It’s going to be fun too, they’ll get to know other parents ... it’s not about saying they’re a bad parent, it’s just helping them to feel more empowered to deal with what’s going on today and learning what those things are, because I’m telling you, there are things that parent’s are not aware of,” Tomey said.
    Contact the coalition office at 815-476-1660 to register. If there’s no answer, please leave a message.